Getting Over Me

Lots on the agenda today, none of which I want to do. It’s a classic struggle I come against more often than not. I constantly battle the forces of inertia. I procrastinate, I dream up excuses, and with a hint of irony, I dedicate a lot of time, energy, and creativity to not doing.

I have a pretty good work ethic thanks to my father’s persistent brainwashing: “Successful people do what failures seek to avoid.” The part of that aphorism that I like most is the “seek to avoid.” Unsuccessful people don’t just avoid, they look for ways to avoid.

It takes work to not work. I can relate.

If we’re all working so hard at not doing, then why don’t we just do? I’ll tell you what goes through my head: Fear. I don’t want to put myself out there for one reason or another. It’s so much easier to do nothing and protect myself. I don’t like to leave myself vulnerable.

I remember trying out for soccer teams as a kid and being completely paralyzed by fear of not making the team. I didn’t want to go put myself out there, and possibly embarrass myself in front of my friends and family. It was a real struggle just to show up. Thankfully, I had supportive friends and family—I never would have gone otherwise. I’m quite sure of that.

The hardest part of the tryout wasn’t the tryout. It was getting over myself.