Billionaires, Listen Up

My job this week is to interview hedge fund investment managers: A rare and interesting breed. My company is developing a pitch presentation for them. And I’m digging n sleuthing for info in order to write intelligently about what they do.

So I slip into my starchies, head to their glass offices, click on the recorder and let em go on for an hour or so.

They’re a kahki n polo crowd, but that’s sheep’s clothing. They are a carnivorous bunch, indeed, earning a living by singling out the weak.

To oversimplify it, they invest in bankrupt companies. That’s right, hemmoraging companies, troubled companies, or, as they like to euphamize it, “distressed” companies.

Who wants to invest in that?

I tend to like my investments strong n stable, decades of heritage, an impenetrable reputation and, of course, hearty profits.

Not these guys. They like their investments with companies wiped out by hurricanes or washed up by mismangement. They like em in the middle of legal battles. They like em on the brink.

In essence, this fund is an investment portfolio of 30 crappy companies. So, again, who wants to invest in that?

Billionaires do.

In other words, my friends, their ideal client is you. My faithful readers who own Carribbean islands. My Left Back loving oil magnates. My adoring fans who own casinos in Monte Carlo.

It’s all quite genius. A bankrupt company is a cheap company, so they snap em up hoping for a turnaround. And I’m hoping you’re smart enough to see the logic in it.

I’d invest, but the minimum is $5 mil investment, and I need to keep those kinda funds free for my basement renovation.

So, my billionaire readers, if you wanna go for it, I gotta name and a number for ya.

GM