I Wonder What I Taste Like

Returned Sunday evening from a somewhat restful Yoga retreat in the heart of the Berkshire mountains. Jill and I went to a joint called Kripalu, pronounced Kri-PALL-oo, which the locals affectionately call “cripple you.” It’s actually more than a joint, it’s a sprawling campus dedicated to Yoga and and other Asian-inspired ascetic disciplines on acres and acres of lovely Massachussets real estate. 

We had 4 sessions with renowned Yogi Seane Corn. She’s a tough Jersey girl turned spiritual sage. And that might just be enough for you to imagine what kind of teacher she is. Let’s just say that there was a lot of enlightened cursing going on. She brought levity to the teachings and didn’t get all pan-flutey on us, which was refreshing in a world of gypsy Yogis.

In between the Yoga we enjoyed meals of socially-responsible fare. Well, I enjoyed. Every day they serve 3 meals buffet style of vegetables, grains, beans, and usually a fish or poultry dish if you wanted to go that route. I loved the food, Jill wasn’t so easily impressed. “Hospital food” I believe is how she described some of the dishes. She knows what she likes.

We also had an opportunity to stroll the campus. There, we saw a Zen garden, a Zen labyrinth, a Zen lake, Zen statues, a Zen apple orchard (just past the Zen parking lot).As soon as you check in, they give you a hiking trail map. And we were surprised to see just how much there was to explore. 

In between our Saturday afternoon Yoga session and dinner, we decided to take on one of the beautiful hiking trails. Amazing. Jill and I spending time walking through the dense forest, walking, laughing. It was late afternoon, and despite a handful of others we saw coming off the trail, we had the mountain to ourselves. 

So we thought. 

Out of a not-so-distant outcropping lumbered a beast of a bear. Big black momma bear, with two cubs that could eat your head whole. Momma saw us, but seemed indifferent to our presence. I wish I felt the same way. I minded very much sharing the trail with a human-eating predator. After the token “Holy S” my adrenyl glands were deciding: Fight? Flight? Collapse? The first and last didn’t seem like good answers to me. 

Jill and I froze. With one eye on the bears and one eye on the trail I started backtracking. Then I hear faintly behind me, “Greg, wait for me.” No time for chivalry, Jill. I don’t have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you. Jill promptly caught up and we walked at a brisk pace retracing our loop. The sun was setting. We had 30 minutes to trek a 45 minute loop. Which, I'm sure would take a motivated bear under 12 minutes. We didn’t look back. We made it out of the woods literally and figuratively. Funny thing is the loop connected where we saw the bears in the first place, so all they needed to do was walk across a small ravine and wait on the trail with their mouths open, we would have walked right in.