Vomitopolis

Cam has been sick every 20 minutes since 4 a.m. Yesterday was her first day back at daycare. Can you catch something that quickly? With all the disease going around in one of those joints, you're at risk the moment you walk in. It's the epicenter for virus and bacteria.

Right now she's reclining, watching Nemo. She's content. But I'm on edge. In a few minutes, when the waves of nausea return, she'll be back in that hell—taking out everything in a 3 foot radius.

I feel for her, though. What's worse than that feeling? Papercut on the tongue? Turf toe? Jammed coccyx? I dunno.

I loathe that feeling, friends. It unfortunately reminds me of my friend Brad's bachelor party in Tampa. The night started off slowly. 7 or 8 of us at a local pub knocking back a few, tellin lies. Then Bill, the instigator, starts in with the Jagermeister shots. They come fast and furiously. I shot back 5 or 6 and poured another 3 or 4 on the plant behind me.

That stuff is unholy. Part Listerine. Part tree sap. It literally turned me inside out, and wiped 24-hours off the clock. Everybody was in the same pathetic shape. Luckily, Brad and Angela planned for a day buffer between bachelor party and wedding. When the big day came around, we were 50% instead of -300%.

There aren't too many feelings that are worse than the one she's been experiencing. As far as I'm concerned, she can watch Nemo all she wants today.