TV is Even Worse for You
Not only do they drain yer gray matter when they're glowing in yer loving room, but they also hurl themselves at ya when they're sittin quietly in the corner. It's all part of their plan to dull the senses until our brains are pasturized into an opinionless, dull-witted, gurgling mass of goo.
No joke, folks, I saw an exclusive on it this morning on—of all things—the TV. The Tube is writing its own PR.
Their dastardly plan is to blend in with the wallpaper, and jump at unsuspecting toddlers, crushing their kiddie skulls. 5 deaths have been reported in Houston. 3 deaths in New York. Scores of injuries. The news doesn't lie.
I guess TVs are frustrated with the long and agonizingly slow process of lobotomizing adults. After all, it takes hours upon hours of daily programming to drain ambition. These relentless mind-numbing exercises take time and electricity, TVs aren't able to finish the job until they've exhausted their tubes and wires. They burn out before their human subjects do.
Out of the 400 million TV sets in the US. Maybe 3000 of them have fallen to the darkside, terrorizing famlies. That doesn't sound like much now, but the movement is gaining momentum. After all, it's a quicker, easier way to paralyze the competition.
We must all look at our TVs differently. Every one of them is a suspect. The Japanese jobbies, Korean ones, even those monster TVs built right here in the US of A.
Don't turn your back for a minute.
Just another vittle of advice from your humble scribe.
G$
No joke, folks, I saw an exclusive on it this morning on—of all things—the TV. The Tube is writing its own PR.
Their dastardly plan is to blend in with the wallpaper, and jump at unsuspecting toddlers, crushing their kiddie skulls. 5 deaths have been reported in Houston. 3 deaths in New York. Scores of injuries. The news doesn't lie.
I guess TVs are frustrated with the long and agonizingly slow process of lobotomizing adults. After all, it takes hours upon hours of daily programming to drain ambition. These relentless mind-numbing exercises take time and electricity, TVs aren't able to finish the job until they've exhausted their tubes and wires. They burn out before their human subjects do.
Out of the 400 million TV sets in the US. Maybe 3000 of them have fallen to the darkside, terrorizing famlies. That doesn't sound like much now, but the movement is gaining momentum. After all, it's a quicker, easier way to paralyze the competition.
We must all look at our TVs differently. Every one of them is a suspect. The Japanese jobbies, Korean ones, even those monster TVs built right here in the US of A.
Don't turn your back for a minute.
Just another vittle of advice from your humble scribe.
G$
posted by Greg Monaco at 8:15 AM
1 Comments:
What you been smokin Gm?! That is the funniest entry yet! It's not the TV's fault, it's the parents putting the 32" TV on a tower of cinderblocks and not watching their kid!
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